Posting when I can; praying I can post more often. Wanting to develop a better blog; praying I have more opportunities to turn this into the blog it is meant to be.
About Me
- Marshel
- I am a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a sister, an aunt, a cousin, a friend, a daughter, and a teacher. I am many things, especially a writer. I am a person who loves the Lord. I am a Child of God. I am a Christian under construction. I want to be a Christ-like Christian. I want Jesus to call me "a woman who loves sharing about our Lord and Savior with others."
Monday, July 11, 2011
Is it my age?
When I started college in 1991, I was able to memorize pages and pages of information - word for word. I could record it on my test and be accused of plagiarism because the instructor thought I had copied it from a page I was hiding. Imagine being accused of cheating when I was only an overachiever. I had to have the most points possible in the class. I even would do the extra assignments to get the extra bonus points because I had to have an A in each course. I wasn't even stressed over all of the work. I loved the homework and assignments and all of the extra work. It was like a drug and I was addicted. Only the drug was getting top grades in class. Now mind you I am not really a smart person. I just study and make the passing grades. After the test is over I usually forget everything I had learned about that particular subject. I graduated cum laude with a Bachelor's degree in Education. I had to ask what cum laude meant. I graduated from college in 1996 and ever since I have been taking continuing education classes. I am currently obtaining my master's in business administration. And that my friends may have been the least smartest thing I have ever done. Oh, not the masters. But getting it in business. I am illiterate when it comes to math subjects. No, let's just tell the truth. I am ignorant when it comes to math. Well, I have tried to memorize the terms. I have tried to memorize the theory. I have tried to do the math assignments. This accounting class is harder than the business law class I took. So, tonite is my final in accounting and I did not study like I should have. I worked too many hours and have a dysfunctional marriage to contend with. I am so tired and exhausted and the weather is so hot (108 degrees at midnite for days now) that my asthma is acting up. I am afraid I am going to fail this accounting class. If I do then I will be put on academic probation and the course will cost me an additional $2,000.00. Very costly. I feel like a failure. Is it my age that I can't study and memorize like I used to? My marriage was worse back when I started college and I graduated with honors. I took a full load each semester and made top grades. I am not bragging I am just explaining how things used to be. Why am I failing? I know that master level classes are harder. I know that being in graduate school is harder. I just don't understand why I can't at least pass each course. I don't need to have the highest grade anymore. I just want to pass. I don't want to cause my family anymore financial burden by having to pay an additional fee penalty for failing the class. I want to graduate. I don't expect to graduate with honor, but I do want to pass. So, is it that I am 51 years old and my memory is not like it used to be? Or did I take on too much? I needed the challenge. I needed a goal. And I believe that getting my MBA is the right thing for me in my life right now. I just am worried am I really getting old now? My multi -tasking skills have done worn out. I want to know is anyone else out there slowing down like I am? I forget to take my vitamins and I am supposed to take them for my memory. Oh, well, I guess I have postponed taking my final as long as I can now. Here goes nothing...
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