Tears Tears Go Away

I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. Psalm 40:1

That is where I am right now.  Crying at the drop of a hat.  Not going through menopause either.  Trying not be to be depressed.  Fighting depression.  And the tears continue to fall.  Oh, how I do trust the Lord, but I am also human and life situations are getting in my way.  I see the Lord.  He is within my focus.  But my reach is not able to touch Him right now.  I stretch my hand but I am weak and it just falls limp.  I am losing strength.  I am losing so much.  I did not have much to begin with, but what I have is slowing slipping away.  I am weakening.  I am not able to muster up joy or even smile much now.  I am not able to "trust the Lord in all things."  I know He is there and I know He will provide and that He does not put on our shoulders more than we can handle.  But my shoulders are feeling very full of arthritis or something due to the weight I have had to hold on my shoulders these many years.  I want a easy way out and there is none.  I want to give up and there is no way the Lord will let me.  I want to just pull the covers over my head and stay in bed and never wake up.  But life will not let me.  I have to be responsible even when I don't want to.  So, much is piling up and much is slowing falling away at the same time.  I have tears that flow freely and I have tears that are not able to flow at all.  I try to not cry and I know I need to cry.  I am only human and yet I profess to be a Christian.  I know I need to step out in faith and trust God.  He has never let me down ever.  It is I who lets Him down.  And feeling so weak and depressed I am letting Him down.  And more tears are swelling up in my eyes because I can't stop letting God down.  I know I need to pray and yet I am so weak spiritually I can't pray.  What do I pray for that I have not prayed for daily?  My prayers are so weak I am in great need of the Holy Spirit to intercede on my behalf.   The tears continue and I am in no state physically or emotionally or spiritually to stop them.  If the tears go away what happens then?  Have I given in to depression?  If I don't feel pain and there are no tears does that mean I have given up completely?  What do I do?  I am choosing to sit at the feet of Jesus, and just let Him wrap His arms around me and provide comfort.  I am choosing to let the tears fall at His feet and flow freely.  Jesus will be there to wipe the tears away.  What happens after that only the Lord knows, but I will be waiting for His provision and His answer.  He has never let me down.  And He has never told me to not cry.  He has heard my cry.  He has seen my tears.  He is holding me right now and I am going to let the tears fall as they may.  Jesus, do you have a tissue?